Why Here?
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Why This?
"You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
-A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
Like many kids today, I grew up plagued by anxiety and completely divorced from my body. By my early 20s, working multiple job in the theatre, I had thrown my back out twice. I was struggling with debilitating perfectionism, a depleted immune system, immense levels of stress, and depression and suicidal ideation that had been recurring since my early teens.
I consistently saw only my weaknesses and my failings.
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Desperate and a little scared, I began looking for a way to decrease my stress levels and just maybe help me get through.
I pulled out the yoga mat my sister had given me in high school, found my favorite old yoga TV series on iTunes, and started un-rolling my mat in a back dressing room in between my daytime hours as an electrician and my nighttime rehearsal hours as the assistant stage manager.
As crazy as my life was, Yoga helped me find space within myself. Little by little, it quieted my constant, cruel inner critic (even if only temporarily). Through regular practice, I found courage I didn't know I had, and strength that I hadn't realized I'd lost.
For the first time in years, I found a sense of me.
My back pain subsided, my stress levels decreased--even if my work load didn't--and my immune system began to improve. For the first time that I could really remember, I took an interest in my own health. Yoga led to cardio and strength training, eating healthier, and paying attention to what products I was using.
I started feeling strong. ​
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And that physical strength let me start to grow stronger inside as well. For years, I'd listened to the perfectionist inner critic in my head, and for years, it had held me back. Its reminders of possible rejection and fear of judgement had stopped me from pursuing so many of my dreams.
"We must simply have courage and be kind."
-Cinderella (2015)
Continuing to grow, in 2017, I found the courage to take my first yoga teacher training. This focus on self- and Self-discovery helped me re-evaluate the path my life was taking, establish my priorities, and recognize that negative voice in my head that had been guiding so many of my actions.
Shortly after finishing my 200-hr yoga teacher training, I listened to my heart and the astute words of one of my peers:
"Sometimes the only step you can take is a leap of faith."
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I quit my high-stress job in Stage Management and moved across the country with only what fit in my duffle bag and suitcase. I had only enough money to pay for this month's groceries and my next month's sublet. Riding the turbulent subway lines of life in NYC, I proved my strength--inner and outer--to myself over and over again as I hustled in multiple jobs, switched apartments, grappled with injuries, and even tried my hand at writing my first blog (which can still be viewed in the Archive).
"I was learning to focus and have faith in my own story."
-Michelle Obama, Becoming
Through yoga, I went from being an over-stressed, anxious, depressed, perfectionist stage manager to a happy, pain-free, adventurous woman managing the #1 Yoga Studio for Men in Manhattan in 2019. In a city of over 8 million people, I began to know myself. Not the versions of me that I had morphed into based on what I thought other's wanted me to be. Not the "me" who was built out of my fears of someone else's disapproval, but the me that came from the truest version of my Self.
I realized I could write my own story rather than getting caught in the narrative that I wasn't enough.
I started living my dream of teaching yoga. I pursued my 300-hr training under the guidance of Colleen Saidman Yee and Rodney Yee. Their incredible encyclopedia of knowledge both anatomical and spiritual inspired me to push further: receiving my Personal Trainer certification through NASM and beginning my journey toward a Master of Science in Yoga Therapy through Maryland University of Integrative Health--something I'd heard about in my first yoga teacher training, but had been too afraid to even dream could one day be my path.
Then, life shifted.
With COVID shaking life up around the world, I was forced to think outside the yoga mat. Just as I began my Masters in Yoga Therapy, I simultaneously moved back to my home state (Colorado) and into the world of kickboxing and MMA before launching my very own business, Outside the Mat LLC, in May 2021.
"It is the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting."
-Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
Fast forward a year and change, and I began leasing my first office space as a fully credentialed Yoga Therapist--something my younger self wouldn't be able to believe. Admittedly, this did not go as planned...​
“Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes."
-Neil Gaiman, Make Good Art
Struggling to work full-time elsewhere, have a fulfilling personal life, and launch a business left things to be desired in all three areas of my life. And left me facing some pretty serious burnout. Having completely fallen off the wagon with my own self-care routine, I was in need of a reboot. A new perspective.
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With physical touch as one of my top love languages, I had long considered going to massage school, but the time--and the finances--had never been quite right. Spurred on by a need for change and to re-establish my trust in the Universe and my path within it, I found myself clicking the top Google search result for massage schools: The Costa Rica School of Massage Therapy. ​
Fast forward now to the present. A new office space, but the same mission of helping others. My love of the mind-body connection keeps me going, whole, and sane. I nerd out over facts about the mind-body system and time and time again have used this connection to reintegrate with myself. I am not perfect, and I never will be. There will be more times of anxiety and stress and self-doubt. But I know that I can always find my way back to my Self.
My dream and goal is to aid others on a journey of their own. To help them find their (re-)connection. Their own inner voice and self-love. To ease pain and suffering--be it physical, mental, emotional--and give others the tools to write their own story. Whether through massage, yoga, meditation, or something totally new.​
A re-set for the soul.
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Six months in Costa Rica was everything I needed. Not only did I learn a skill that has spoken to my spirit since I was a teen, but it gave me time to find my center again and helped me to heal. Meditating on the beach every morning, studying my favorite kind of material (mind-body science), doing and receiving hours of bodywork, and spending hours in the surf brought me home to myself again. For all the years that I have tried to be "special", I came away from Costa Rica learning that all I really needed, was to be me. ​​
"Follow your wishing heart."
-Lisa Loeb
Together, we can think and move outside the mat.
Colorado
Massage License
#0026698
Certificates, Trainings, and Education
Master of Science in Yoga Therapy
Licensed Massage Therapist, Colorado
Yoga Alliance 500 E-RYT, YACEP
NASM-Certified Personal Trainer
Additional trainings in:
Restorative Yoga, Yoga Nidra, Yoga for the Pelvic Floor, Pelvic Floor Health for Dancers and Artistic Athletes, Trauma-Informed Yoga, Postnatal Yoga, Pussy Yoga (Pelvic Floor Integration)
